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Part of me is telling me to scream, to fight back more, that my husband wouldn’t like the fact that I’m enjoying this. But… another part of me is caught up in my old fantasies and doesn’t want him to stop. I grip her throat, making it hard for her to breathe. I take my other hand and press it against her crotch. The tight skirt makes it so that I can’t press between her thighs and this obviously frustrates me. Pulling her by her throat and making it harder to breathe, I spin her to the desk. I turn her around with grabbing hands and press the front of her legs to the desk. I wrap an arm around her waist and, before she can regain a decent breath, my other hand grasps her throat again. I don’t press hard enough to choke unless she struggles, so she goes docile against me with her arms tense at her sides. I slide my hand down her throat to her chest and I grip her breast.My fingers dig in so hard that it hurts. she takes in a hiss of breath and her hands ball into fists, making her. “But now I know life not just about creating life for me. I had believed that because it was what my mother believed but after all this life is why I here.” He smiled then asked when I started believing that. “Right about the time the bat hit me the first time in the woods. So many things ran through my head but one thing stuck out to me and that was I want to live through this. Also it was when I realized if I took my own life I was giving Mike what he wanted and I’ll be damn before I do that.” As I talked he wrote it all down in my file then his next question got to me. “How have you been sleeping?” When I didn’t say anything he looked at me. “Nightmares” I nodded and he leaned back in his chair. “Tell me about them.” So I told him about the dreams and how I would wake in a cold sweat and how I couldn’t get my mind to focus and how I was just so scared. “Nightmares have a way of show us what really in our hearts. You act fine on the outside and you even convinced yourself of this.
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